Transcript for Episode 14: Peggy Hill Meets a Drag Queen

This is the transcript for the installment of the show in which we discuss the Cheers episode “The Peggy Horror Picture Show.” If you’d rather listen to Glen and Drew than read what they say, click here. The transcript was provided by Sarah Neal, whose skills we recommend wholeheartedly.

Carolyn:  How much do you love zebra print?

Peggy:  Okay, you know how when you see a really cute baby and you just want to eat it? That is how I feel about these shoes.

Carolyn:  Oh here, you take it.

Peggy:  Thank you. Peggy.

Carolyn:  Carolyn.

Peggy:  I usually hear this, not say it: Nice grip. 

["Yahoos and Triangles" by the Refreshments plays] 

Drew:  You are listening to Gayest Episode Ever, the podcast about episodes of classic TV shows that deal with LGBT themes. I'm Drew Mackie.

Glen:  I'm Glen Lakin.

Drew:  Hi, Glen.

Glen:  I wasn't ready for that. Hello.

Drew:  And if the opening didn't tip you off, today we are talking about "King of the Hill," specifically the episode "The Peggy Horror Picture Show," a.k.a. "Peggy Hill Meets a Drag Queen."

Glen:  That's accurate.

Drew:  Accurate. Very succinct summary. I like it. Glen are you excited to talk about Peggy Hill?

Glen:  I'm thrilled to talk about Peggy Hill.

Drew:  Why do you have big feelings about Peggy Hill?

Glen:  I know you think I have big feelings because you classify Peggy Hill as a Diane. I was thinking about this today, and yeah, she's more of a later-season-Cheers Diane, but early Diane in conception with someone who actually—you define Diane as a character whose aspirations far outweigh her actual talent, and Peggy Hill is sort of known for thinking she's quite intelligent and worldly.

Drew:  She's dumb as rocks.

Glen:  I wouldn't say she's dumb as rocks, but she definitely thinks she is bigger than the small Texas town that she's currently living in.

Drew:  That's true.

Glen:  Just like Diane thought she was bigger than Cheers and better than Cheers.

Drew:  And Shelley Long thought she was bigger and better than Cheers, too.

Glen:  Well.

Drew:  Yeah. Hmm.

Glen:  That's a debate for another episode.

Drew:  We already had that debate actually.

Glen:  I know, and I'll continue to have that debate. But the actual Diane—Shelley Long's Diane—did have some knowledge and talent. She was just never going to be the best at that.

Drew:  Right. Peggy Hill is good at some things, like Boggle. Remember the Boggle episode?

Glen:  Yeah. 

Drew:  Yeah. She beat Laurie Metcalf, who played the mean lady in that episode.

Glen:  Oh no.

Drew:  I know. So she's good at things sometimes. But she's cartoonishly a Diane, so her ambitions are way beyond. She's also—I think we probably mentioned this before. She's the Homer and Hank is the Marge in the way that Linda on Bob's Burgers is also the Homer and Bob is the Marge, which I like that their relationship makes a little more sense than The Simpsons where Hank clearly loves this woman even if he's aware that sometimes she might outpace herself a little bit.

Glen:  Yeah. He [loves], admires, and tolerates her—and tolerance is a much-overlooked aspect of a good relationship.

Drew:  That is a good point. There's a really good example of that later on in this episode. 

Glen:  I also want to talk about how I generally love King of the Hill. 

Drew:  Yeah. That's what we do now. What were your memories of the show? When did you first start watching it?

Glen:  I didn't watch it until it was in syndication. I didn't really watch it when it was on. I didn't think it would be a type of family or character that I would get behind. But oh these many years later, I now see Hank Hill is the only conservative that I respect—politics alert. But—

Drew:  They're basically all conservatives on this show, right?

Glen:  Yeah. Mostly. I think Peggy probably sees herself as a liberal, but Hank is the one who is very much a Republican, votes Republican, is a proud Republican. 

Drew:  He's a very traditional person.

Glen:  Yes. And only through Hank Hill's eyes do I see the humor and flaw in some progressive policies.

Drew:  Right. I think that's why it was a really good show for leftist/left-leaning people to watch because people might have gone in thinking that they were having a laugh at Texans—which you do to an extent. There's a lot of gentle criticism because Mike Judge, I think, is a Libertarian.

Glen:  Ugh.

Drew:  I could be wrong on that, but—we don't need to worry too much about Mike Judge's politics because I don't they're actually reflected in the characters so much. Hank is very much Republican.

Glen:  Yeah. I also think that King of the Hill does what I think is my favorite part of Game of Thrones, and that is putting two people who shouldn't be together, together—like the best episodes are when Hank teams up with someone you wouldn't think that he had common ground with.

Drew:  Mm-hmm. Or Peggy and someone—like, Peggy and Dale never get anything to do together and when they do it's fun because they actually hate each other quite a bit. Or she just hates him, I think. I watched this from the first episode—even though I did not like Beavis and Butt-Head. I can't explain why I was like the one male adolescent at the time that it did not work on. 

Glen:  Because you were gay?

Drew:  I'm sure there are gay guys who liked Beavis and Butt-Head. But yeah, maybe that's it. I like Daria, which is a very different spinoff from Beavis and Butt-Head spiritually. But [I] watched this from the very first episode. I was going to an all-guys high school at the time. I was a freshman, and I sat next to this kid—<laughs> whose name I remember, but I won't say—who looked just like Bobby and talked like Bobby. 

Glen:  Oh, that's not a good comparison.

Drew:  No. He was nice, and he was actually smart—but he sounded and looked like him, and I think that made his life very, very hard. I was glad I did not look like Bobby, because none of that splashed back on me. But it was something that the kids I went to high school with were quoting constantly, and it never really went away for 13 years—13 seasons of this show, crazily. 

Glen:  I think the moment that King of the Hill was a—quote/unquote—good show to me, it was the episode where Bobby thinks that their family is rich because he sees Hank's receipts for oil. He thinks his dad has oil money, but really it's oil changes, and Bobby fantasizes their life as though they’re rappers—like they have tigers and white suits, and I think Peggy is dancing by Hank's chair. I was like, "Oh, this is funny and clever," and then the heart of the show being like, "Oh, no. Hank budgets and Bobby spends Hank's entire entertainment budget on CDs.

Drew:  And Hank weirdly tolerates this.

Glen:  Yeah. And then—blah, blah, blah. The resolution is that he sees Bobby hustling to sell the Skidoo that he bought with a credit card, and there's just some rich twerp who's treating Bobby terribly. So Hank's like, "Fuck it. I'll just keep this and have fun." There are lots of episodes where Hank comes around on things.

Drew:  Mm-hmm—because he has to. Otherwise, he would be a thoroughly boring character.

Glen:  Oh, yeah. 

Drew:  Right. You talking about Peggy dancing reminded me of something I learned on—Talk King of the Hill is a spinoff to Talking Simpsons that they are trying to do. By the time this goes live they might actually be doing. It's a Patreon-only run-through, I think, of the first season. But they've done two episodes of the show so far. They did the pilot which is amazing, and they did the episode where Peggy finds out that Nancy's having an affair, which is a great episode. And I think in both of them, they mention that in the art—what do you call it? It's not the series bible, but the list of animation dos and don'ts for these characters. One of them is—

Glen:  The character model sheets?

Drew:  Yes. Do not draw Peggy too shapely. She has to be a certain level of attractive and never more than that. So they have a version of her looking too sexy, and they're like, "No," and another one where she just is looking like Peggy—they're like, "Yes, this is it. That's as sexy as she can get." The only other thing I learned from those is that—I never noticed this before, but this show is drawn like it's shot with a camera, in a way that Family Guy and The Simpsons aren't necessarily. The perspective is from which things are drawn always have to be from where a camera would be in that space, and the camera can't shoot through walls or anything. They wanted it to look like a conventional TV show rather than a zany cartoon where anything can happen, which is an interesting restraint to put on yourself because you're doing a cartoon—you can make it look like anything. But it's so restrained.

Glen:  Yes, but they also have—even just going through as I was taking notes, it's like, "Oh, yes. This is different than a sitcom because there are a thousand scenes."

Drew:  Yeah. They go by really fast, and there's a lot of setting changes, too. A ton in this episode. Let's see.

Glen:  Speaking of this episode—

Drew:  Speaking of this episode, it was written by Christy Stratton, who is a co-executive producer on King of the Hill, also a producer on Raising Hope and Modern Family, and her IMDb picture makes her seem lovely. She seems like a very nice person. Directed by Kyounghee Lim, who basically has done a bunch of episodes of Bob's Burgers. It is not the only LGBT-focused episode of this show. There's also one called "My Own Private Rodeo," which is one where Dale finds out his dad is a star of the gay rodeo circuit, and it's very, very good.

Glen:  But I made you do this one instead.

Drew:  I wanted to talk about Peggy. This is a much better Peggy episode. I couldn't find Nielsen ratings for how this did, which is weird. It aired January 28th, 2007. It was the season premiere of the 11th season. Can you guess in 2007-2008, what the most-watched shows were?

Glen:  I don't know, Drew. I was in grad school.

Drew:  It's super bleak. The top five in order are American Idol, American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, Dancing with the Stars, Dancing with the Stars. The first sitcom to appear in the Top 20 for the year is Two and a Half Men." I was like—ugh. I have no idea how well King of the Hill was doing, but it lasted for two more seasons.

Glen:  Well, our current world makes a lot more sense to me.

Drew:  Mm-hmm. Yeah. We should have seen it coming. I think that's all the preliminary stuff. I guess we can get into the first scene, which is a clothing exchange.

Glen:  Yes. Peggy and the female characters in this show—of which [there] are three others—are doing what they saw in a ladies' magazine would be a fun activity for cosmopolitan women.

Luanne:  My very first clothing exchange! I've never felt so cosmopolitan. That's a word I learned in a bar.

Drew:  I had a friend in Santa Barbara who did this with her female friends all the time, and I always want to know why men can't do this.

Glen:  We do do this. You bag your clothes to give away, and I rummage through them and take things.

Drew:  I know, but more of an egalitarian mode where you see everyone's stuff and I could potentially—like, rather than just giving away stuff, I could also get something. But I feel like we're not any closer in size than a group of female friends would be, right.

Glen:  Right.

Drew:  Right. I have never heard of guys doing this. If it does happen, someone tell me about it.

Glen:  I like that Minh says, "Oh, like a key party."

Nancy:  So the magazine says we each present an item of clothing, and the first one to call dibs gets it.

Minh:  Oh, like a key party—or so I've heard.

Glen:  And none of the other women knew what she was talking about or at least didn't put together that "Oh. She goes to key parties."

Drew:  It would make sense that Kahn and Minh would go to key parties because they are very aggressive people who seem like they're bored with Arlen right from the get-go.

Glen:  They would want to win the key party.

Drew:  Can you?

Glen:  No. 

Drew:  Yeah, they would. 

Glen:  But they are the kind of people who would want to win in situations where there is no winning.

Drew:  I agree, and I want to point out that she's voiced by Lauren Tom who also is the voice of Kahn Jr. and Amy from Futurama and she also played Ross's paleontologist girlfriend on the first season of Friends. 

Glen:  Oh. I weirdly know things about her. She is one of the few voice actors to voice both mother and daughter characters. 

Drew:  I can see that she does in Futurama, too.

Glen:  Yeah. She was Amy and Amy's mother in Futurama.

Drew:  Yeah. She was the go-to person to voice almost any Asian character who was not an adult man. She did little boys, girls, and adult women—and she still does it a bit. She did supporting roles on Disenchantment, but nothing too huge. Luanne is the first person to speak in this episode and she is voiced by Brittany Murphy who is deceased, and it's such a bummer to watch King of the Hill now and be like—she did such a good job with Luanne, making her a fully fleshed out character.

Glen:  Yeah. I still go back to the episode where the last scene is Luanne putting Peggy's shoes in the garbage disposal as a passive-aggressive action and she's just humming as she does it, and the hum is so light and perfect.

Drew:  I was listening to something where they were talking about a live script reading of one of the King of the Hill scripts, and the part of Luanne was presumed by Pamala Adlon, who voices Bobby, and apparently she did a really good job. She can really mimic Luanne's voice very, very well, which is nice if they ever do a reboot. They wouldn't have to necessarily make an excuse for why Luanne isn't there or say that Luanne had also passed away or something, which would be way too sad.

Glen:  Right. I was actually craving a reboot. 

Drew:  They could easily do that. They could make no time pass and I would be just fine with that. I don't want to see adult Bobby Hill. That would be weird. Just before I forget, did you know that Pamela Adlon was on one season of Facts of Life?

Glen:  No. 

Drew:  After Gate II, which is a horror movie we recently watched where she's the love interest, kind of, she was on a season of Facts of Life—season five. She played a character named Kelly Affinado. She's in the opening credits, and she looks like a boy. I have no memory of her existing on the show, but she was an important enough character to be in the opening credits with all the girls.

Glen:  I actually kind of remember her. 

Drew:  Was she only there to make Jo look less masculine?

Glen:  Yes.

Drew:  Yeah. Okay. Sorry. Yes, the clothing exchange.

[women squeal with delight] 

Minh:  Oh! They're cute on you.

Nancy:  Perfect.

Luanne:  Yay [giggles]!

Peggy:  Okay, everybody. My turn. How about these? They're functional. They can go straight from a PTA meeting to a sexy night on the town.

Luanne:  Aunt Peggy, culottes aren't cool, even though it sounds like they should be.

Nancy:  Oh Sug, surely someone will want these—overalls. 

Glen:  Oh, yeah. It doesn't go well for Peggy. Nothing fits her because of her giant feet, which is a running gag on the show. 

Drew:  They are size 16 and 16½. I looked it up.

Glen:  I mean, my left foot is also a half size bigger than my right foot. 

Drew:  That's another reason you like Peggy Hill. 

Glen:  That is top of my list. Yeah. She does not feel as feminine as the other women. To reiterate this point, Minh hands her a jar of pickles that she cannot open herself, and Peggy opens it. 

Drew:  And no one wants to wear her ugly culottes. I had to look up what culottes were. 

Glen:  Oh. How nice for you to not have that in your brain. 

Drew:  Why do you know what culottes are?

Glen:  Because I have a history of writing spec scripts and along the way, you just want to make fun of culottes. 

Drew:  They sound funny. They sound dorky. It literally—I can cut this out. It comes from the French word for butt. C-U-L—like cul-de-sac is "bottom of the sack," which is really what cul-de-sac means.

Glen:  Why would you cut that out?

Drew:  Because I'm probably spouting too much trivia, and we're bogging down the episode already.

Glen:  That's fine.

Drew:  Really fucked it up.

Glen:  Well, we can speed through the rest of it. Peggy's pretty upset. She has a scene with Hank where she does not feel feminine and asks Hank if he sees her as feminine and he says—

Peggy:  You think I'm feminine. Don't you, Hank?

Hank:  Well, sure you are. You're a wife and a mother.

Drew:  "Sure you are."

Glen:  Yeah, because of course Hank would view being the most woman one can be as being a wife and mother.

Drew:  Mm-hmm. And he's terrified by any sort of female sexuality, like Luanne's presence in the house does seem to make him uncomfortable all the time. The next scene is this weird runner throughout the episode with Bobby and Joseph—Joseph being Dale and Nancy's son, originally voiced by Brittany Murphy and at this point voiced by Breckin Meyer. 

Glen:  Yeah, because he got hit with the puberty stick hard. 

Drew:  Yeah, which is it interesting to age him up and not Bobby? Because I think—I guess Bobby just never goes through puberty then? 

Glen:  I mean that was a story point where Bobby was kind of upset that he wasn't also turning into more of a man like Joseph was.

Drew:  Wait. Do you think Bobby grows up to be gay?

Glen:  No. I thought about it, but they do that thing to him that they did with Bart where he is, again, more cosmopolitan than you would think. 

Drew:  [Than] he has any reason to be? Yeah. That makes sense.

Glen:  Yeah, like how Bart is familiar with the works of Pablo Neruda, Bobby just has a desire, has an appetite for these different cultures and for celebrities and things that celebrities would like.   

Drew:  And performing, and stuff like that. 

Glen:  Yeah. I mean, I think he started off as—well, he started off as a weirdo, and then he became the funny fat kit. And then I think the two merged and he just—if he were a character today, he'd probably be a YouTube celebrity.

Drew:  Or he'd be Steven Universe.

Glen:  Oh, yeah.

Drew:  Did you notice that he and Steven both have girlfriends named Connie?

Glen:  I did know that. Yes.

Drew:  Yeah. I would like to ask Rebecca Sugar how much of Bobby Hill was written into Steven Universe because it's got to be a little bit. They're both adorable fat kids with big hearts and that's it.

Glen:  Who look younger than they are.

Drew:  Right. How old is Bobby supposed to be?

Glen:  I don't know, but I mean—

Drew:  Yeah. He could be eight. So, wait. What do you make of this whole weird thing they have? They're playing pranks, but their pranks never turn out right. What's your long-stretch read?

Glen:  Yeah, I knew you were going to ask that, and I couldn't come up with a good one. But I do think there is something to—it's sort of the reverse of what's happening in the A-plot whereas they are setting out to play pranks on someone and it backfires and it ends up being a good thing for them, whereas Peggy's immediate reaction—I mean, spoiler alert: She finds out that Carolyn is not a drag queen, and she feels like—

Drew:  She finds out that Carolyn is a drag queen.

Glen:  Oh, that's what I meant. She finds out Carolyn is a drag queen, not a woman. Peggy's immediate reaction is like, "Oh, this feels like a cruel prank."

Drew:  Right, and it ends up not being so bad.

Glen:  No.

Drew:  She ends up not being horribly embarrassed by this thing.

Glen:  Yeah. So I guess there is something to—just because something turns out to be embarrassing doesn't mean that was the other person's intention. Not everyone has bad intentions—unless it's Bobby and Joseph. Then they do have bad intentions.

Drew:  But are so loveable they can't even pull off a real prank. 

Glen:  Mm-hmm. 

Drew:  I don't think we need to go into all the details of everything.

Glen:  Nope!

Drew:  The next scene, though, is Peggy working at her computer, and Luanne comes in.

Luanne:  Aunt Peggy, look what I got. A bracelet. It's what some women wear on their wrists—[awkward pause]. It's like jewelry. 

Peggy:  Yes, Luanne. I know what a bracelet is.

Drew:  "It's something women wear on their wrists," and Peggy's glare at her made me laugh out loud.

Glen:  I also love that their computer room is a closet. 

Drew:  Mm-hmm, and it's not their computer. It's strictly Peggy's computer room where she writes her musings. But she uses that computer to find an ad for a store that will sell her nice shoes, which is Clarissa's Closet.

Glen:  Because her old shoe store for the oversized shoes became a dog factory.

Drew:  I think it's a dog food factory. I don't know. They're not—

Glen:  But you heard dogs barking in the background. I thought maybe they turned it into a puppy mill or something.

Drew:  Oh. I guess if you were a dog food factory, you'd have to have test dogs to see if they would eat it. They don't sell her giant shoes anymore, the only place she could buy shoes—and even then all of her shoes were ugly. So she goes to this place, and they have her size. She sees this pair of magenta boots that she wanted to get from Nancy, but they just didn't fit on her giant feet.

Glen:  I think they were maroon. Magenta boots sound gross. 

Drew:  Magenta boots sound—what? Really?

Glen:  Yeah. 

Drew:  Okay. Well, we'll go with maroon. But she looks at the size on the bottom of the boots.

Peggy:  Hello. Do you have a pump in a size—16? 

Woman:  Which brand?

[happy guitar music plays]

Peggy:  Oh my God. Wedges? Sandals? These boots—they're just like Nancy's! It's too big.

Drew:  And she's so happy. For the first time in her life—she's never really experienced being able to get—I actually don't know any of the—like, the high-heeled shoes—like, fancy party shoes. 

Glen:  And then, cut to a scene when she bonds with a new friend over a pair of zebra print shoes and Peggy says of zebra print, "Do you know how you feel when you see a really cute baby and you just want to eat it?" That's how she describes her happiness over zebra print. But this new friend of hers turns out to be Carolyn, who I would hope to most people is very obviously a drag queen.

Drew:  Okay. So is she a drag queen? Or is she—what's going on? I think this is a case of someone who is cis-gendered and heterosexual writing a plot not really understanding the difference between a female impersonator and someone who wears women's clothes in their day-to-day life. She's not trans.

Glen:  No. She's not trans, but I wonder if it was written now—this is 12 years ago, and there's been quite the evolution in terminology on how we think of trans issues since then.

Drew:  Mm-hmm. A lot less conflation of—yeah. Most drag queens I presume to not dress with what they wear on stage in their day-to-day lives. Carolyn looks fairly sensibly dressed. She performs on stage in what's kind of like a Nancy Reagan getup. It's a very sensible, middle-aged woman's costume, I guess.

Glen:  Yeah. But we also see Carolyn as Jamie show up in other scenes and go out of the house as Jamie.

Drew:  Mm-hmm. As a man, yeah.

Glen:  And so where we see Jamie as Carolyn is when he is shopping for women's clothes, and so—I don't know.

Drew:  Yeah. It would be definitely written differently today. For the sake of—as far as this episode's concerned, Carolyn is a drag queen. Carolyn is voiced by Michael Jamin, who is mostly a producer. We were talking about this just before. It seems like they probably would have given this to a celebrity guest star but were unavailable to get one, so this guy who's done fairly little acting—he does a fine job.

Glen:  Yeah. He did a good enough job that I looked him up, mainly to see if he was cute because I thought Jamie was cute.

Drew:  Did you find any pictures of him? Because I didn't.

Glen:  Yeah, I think Jamie's cute.

Drew:  Okay. He was [also] a producer on Just Shoot Me and that show Wilfred where Elijah Wood's married to a dog or something. Do you know which one I'm talking about?

Glen:  Yeah. 

Drew:  So they hit it off because they seem to have a lot in common. They go to lunch together, and Carolyn initially says, "Oh, you at that entire thing," and Peggy is immediately ashamed.

Carolyn:  Peggy. You ate that whole sandwich—

Peggy:  Yes. Yes, I did. Oh, I'm sorry. That was very unladylike.

Carolyn:  —and none of your lipstick smeared or came off at all. How do you do that?

Peggy:  Well, just before biting I move the teeth forward and slide the lip up. I'll show you in slow-mo.

[lipstick application sounds]

Carolyn:  It works! This is going to be a life saver. You see, I do this song and dance act on the weekends, and I need to be able to snack between sets so I don't pass out during the particularly emotional numbers. Thank you, Peggy.

Peggy:  I got the idea from watching shark attacks on the nature channel—or a Bette Davis movie. I can't remember.

Drew:  "It's either from sharks or Bette Davis" where she pushes her teeth forward and rolls her teeth up and the animation of it is very gross, and—did you try to do it when you were watching?

Glen:  I just did it now.

Drew:  I don't think my mouth works that—I don't think my mouth is that talented.

Glen:  Whoa. 

Drew:  It's not. 

Glen:  This is a gay podcast. You cannot say that. 

Drew:  I know. Yeah. 

Glen:  Carolyn's interest in this procedure is what really got me because she says, "I need to be able to snack between sets so I don't pass out during the particularly emotional numbers."

Drew:  That was a good line. That was a really good line.

Glen:  There's a lot of subtle digs at gay and gay bar culture that I really like. We'll mention it later. But if we don't, when Peggy is handing out tickets to the show she and Carolyn are going to do.

Drew:  Five-drink minimum.

Glen:  Five-drink minimum. 

Drew:  Mm-hmm. That is a very subtle joke, but it's King of the Hill, and that's one of the things they do best. And immediately after this they're driving back from lunch, and Peggy has this line where she's like—

Peggy:  I don't know why everyone doesn't drive with their high beams on. You see so much better.

Drew:  So she's the fucking monster driving with her high beams and blinding everyone without realizing that it's doing anything other than helping herself. Good metaphor for Peggy—also made me laugh out loud. And then they also share the trick of—she wears glasses because it covers up her fine lines and wrinkles.

Glen:  That's why I'm looking forward to needing glasses.

Drew:  I have them, and I don't like wearing them because they make my fine lines and wrinkles more obvious to me.

Glen:  Oh.

Drew:  I know. It's really a bummer.

Glen:  But you know, we can all see them.

Drew:  You can with your perfect eyesight, but I'm guessing that everyone else also doesn't want to wear their glasses, so I'm okay. So then Peggy drops Jamie off, and Jamie goes—Peggy drops Carolyn off. Carolyn goes into her apartment, and her mother—I think also voiced by Pamela Adlon—is this insanely supportive woman.

Glen:  I would have said aggressively supportive. 

Drew:  Aggressively supportive. Yeah. 

Mom:  Mm, I helped myself to some tea.

Carolyn:  Hey, Mom. Sorry I'm late.

Mom:  Do not apologize for yourself, now or ever. I love the new wig, son. Gorgeous.

Carolyn:  Thanks. I just had the best time with this new girl, Peggy Hill. I don't know what his real name is. 

Glen:  This is just, she very clearly wants Jamie every second to know that he is loved and supported and that everything he does is perfect and fine.

Drew:  What do you think that's like?

Glen:  Oh. I don't know. 

Drew:  I don't know either.

Glen:  I mean, I'm loved and supported.

Drew:  Oh. Oh, okay. Well.

Glen:  It's okay. It's just fine. I don't think I turned out any better or worse. Oh, I probably turned out better. 

Drew:  Mm-hmm. Okay. Well, I'll imagine what that would be like. Actually, now I just realized not only is Carolyn a drag queen who always just basically always dresses in drag, she also presumes that Peggy is always dressed in drag as well—even though she knows she's not a performer because it's a big thing later when she invites her to go on stage. So I have no idea what Carolyn thinks Peggy is necessarily, other than a man wearing women's clothes.

Glen:  Yeah. So I guess in today's terms, Carolyn might be trans and think that Peggy is trans.

Drew:  Or gender nonconforming, or—I don't know. I don't know. 

Glen:  We probably should have had a guest, huh?

Drew:  I don't think there's a representative for what this is necessarily because it's something that would only exist in a sitcom, basically.

Glen:  A sitcom of—I was going to say '90s. This isn't the '90s. It's almost a decade after. Yeah. I don't know, but there it is that Carolyn thinks Peggy is a man, and Peggy thinks Carolyn is a woman, and that's how we end the act. Hey, do you know what happens at the end of act one? They go to break.

[canned laughter]

Drew:  Oh. We should do that.

[Gayest Episode Ever promotes Sam Pancake Presents the Monday Afternoon Movie] 

Drew:  And we're back. How was the break?

Glen:  I don't know. I didn't listen.

Drew:  Oh [sighs]. You were on break, technically.

Glen:  I took two sips of LaCroix, and I looked at your dog who looked at me very angrily.

Drew:  Yeah, he has that look on him. Well, we are back now, and we are talking about Peggy and Carolyn going shopping.

Glen:  There are a lot of funny lines in this scene, and there's also one that's pretty devastating. 

Drew:  Which ones? What are the funny lines? Tell me the funny lines. 

Glen:  I don't know. I didn't write them down. Of course I only wrote down the devastating one. 

Peggy:  It's so nice to have a friend who's strong enough to push her way through a sale. Nancy always fell somewhere between lingerie and handbags.

Carolyn:  Some of my friends are too scared to go to the mall. They buy everything online. 

Drew:  Yeah, that's pretty devastating. Not unrealistic. 

Glen:  No. 

Drew:  Again, [for having been] written by what I presume to be a straight cis-gendered woman, that is a really good point, that most people would not be as brave as Carolyn would—in Arlen, especially. Although, I guess Arlen is big enough to have a gay bar, which is something. I have no idea how small Arlen is supposed to be.

Glen:  I'm sure the Wikipedia page has the population. 

Drew:  Yeah. That is really sad. She likes the way Peggy twirls a scarf and says, "Hey. I was looking to do a duet. You can be part of my act," and Peggy readily accepts. Carolyn's act is like Liza, Barbra, and Celine. Is that—that is not what a drag queen in 2007 would be dancing to, right? 

Glen:  Blink. I don't know.

Drew:  I don't know. I think it's just another very dated reference. I don't know how old Carolyn is supposed to be.

Glen:  Well Carolyn also, I think, recognizes that it's dated because she's like "A lot of the other girls are doing other things." 

Drew:  Oh. Okay. That makes sense. Yeah. She's weirdly traditional in her draggy-ness.

Glen:  We cut to Peggy and Carolyn practicing their act. They're very in sync for how little work time they've had together.

Drew:  Peggy's a very good athlete. That's one other thing that Peggy has going in her favor. So she picks up on this choreography very quickly and they're having a great time, and then she meets Hank. "This is my husband, Hank," and she's like, "Okay."

Peggy:  Carolyn, this is my husband Hank.

Hank:  Nice to meet you, Carolyn. Carolyn. I always liked that name.

Carolyn:  I thought it was a good one. 

Drew:  It's like, "And this is my son, Bobby." She's like, "Okay."

Glen:  "Did you adopt?"

Peggy:  Bobby, this is my new friend Carolyn. Carolyn, my son Bobby.

Bobby:  Hey.

Carolyn:  Oh. So did you two adopt?

Peggy:  No ma'am, and I have the stretch marks to prove it.

Drew:  She looks around. She sees a photo on the shelf of a very, very pregnant Peggy.

Glen:  Also the wedding photo, which has a giant cross in the background.

Drew:  Mm-hmm, because they got married in a church.

Glen:  Yeah. And whatever is going through Carolyn's head, I would love to hear.

Drew:  Horror-panic? Like, "Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck." And Peggy quickly reveals that yes, she did give birth to Bobby and she shows what her stretch marks look like.

Peggy:  Nothing seems to diminish them. Not shea butter, not cow placenta, not goat placenta.

Carolyn:  Really?

Peggy:  Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. I imagine this is what it looks like when you're stabbed in the stomach at several different angles, huh?

Drew:  That's how the scene ends. Poor Carolyn. There's another aside with Bobby and Joseph. It is at least funny that they try to play a prank, and it ends up getting Bill almost hit by a car and then he falls in love with a DUI driver who is not doing well. 

Glen:  And we don't see again, but we do get him talking about her later when he asks his friends. I think he asks Hank—

Bill:  What does it mean if instead of a purse a woman carries a tattered grocery bag?

Drew:  No one responds. He does not get an answer to that. So prank number two ends up with that. At least Bill finds love. Bill Dauterive. Oh hey, I just realized—so Peggy's voiced by Kathy Najimy. We didn't say that before. This started the same year as Veronica's Closet, starring previous-episode focal point Kirstie Alley, but she was doing double duty on two shows at the same time. Bill Dauterive is voiced by Stephen Root, who was on News Radio at the time, also doing double duty. I just think it's interesting that if you're that kind of comedic actor you can do two successful sitcoms at once.

Glen:  Hmm. 

Drew:  Veronica's Closet ran for three years.

Glen:  That checks out.

Drew:  I'm surprised by that. I would have imagined less, but—yeah. 

Glen:  Wow. 

Drew:  What do you remember of Veronica's Closet? 

Glen:  Being very sexually confused. 

Drew:  By?

Glen:  Okay. Back to King of the Hill. 

Drew:  Okay. 

Glen:  So we get another scene with Carolyn-slash-Jamie's very supportive mother.

Jamie:  Mom, I need to talk to you. It's about Peggy.

Mom:  What's her problem?

Jamie:  Mom, she's a real woman and— 

Mom:  You mean a biological woman. Just because you were born a male doesn't make you any less of a woman. Let no one clip your wings, baby.

Jamie:  Could you stop being supportive for one second and listen? I've got a problem. I can't let a real woman perform with me. It's a drag show.

Mom:  Do what you need to do—as long as there is no shame involved. Hear me? You're a person.

Jamie:  Oh, Mother.

Glen:  But, she is right. 

Drew:  Yeah. She's absolutely right on that. No help to how her son's going to deal with this problem, because now he has to—

Glen:  Which I guess is a point to the camp that Jamie is probably trans and not a drag queen?

Drew:  I don't know. Maybe. I guess you can interpret that a few different ways. Either Jamie lives as a woman—but she calls him Jamie, though, and she addresses him as a boy. But again, it's his elderly mother. It's a fucking mess.

Glen:  I think the problem we're running into is that the writers at the time didn't know there are differences. 

Drew:  Right. And we didn't either, and—you're right. There was a huge evolution in how we talk about trans people and also how much we understand what drag queens are.

Glen:  Yeah. This is pre-RuPaul's Drag Race, people.

Drew:  I mean, yeah. Watching something like this must be very quaint and confusing to someone who's a young person who's grown up watching RuPaul's Drag Race, because it's been on that long that you could have watched it for years and years.

Glen:  Hmm. So in short, we apologize for everything we get wrong.

Drew:  Yes, and we don't apologize on behalf of 2007 for getting stuff wrong, because they didn't know nothin'. That's not our fault. We didn't write this. So Peggy is all dolled up—looking about as feminine as I've ever seen her—and she's very excited. She leaves early because she—

Glen:  Has a sequins emergency.

Drew:  And Hank specifically asks her to call it something else.

Glen:  And she would not.

Drew:  She would not. Then he just accepts this.

Glen:  I like when she's driving off. She scoots low in the car so her tall hair doesn't hit the top of this car.

Drew:  Before she leaves, Nancy and Minh run out, and that's when she gives them the coupons to get into the show where there's a five-drink minimum. Nancy and Minh are, first of all, a lot like Honey and Jessica from Fresh Off the Boat, I realize, in the way they—

Glen:  Should be enemies, but they're friends?

Drew:  Yes. And they are problematic friends. I think they actually like Peggy, or they tolerate Peggy at the very least. But them wanting to see Peggy perform, it's purely out of support. They think they're doing a nice thing. They're not going there to piss her off. They don't know it's a bad surprise.

Glen:  Right, just like I was saying about the reverse of the B-Plot. 

Drew:  Right. It's the opposite of a prank. Then—is that when Jamie shows up? She drives off, and then Jamie shows up?

Glen:  Mm-hmm. And I love the scene of Jamie out of drag, basically performing as—

Drew:  A boy.

Glen:  Well, performing as what Hank and his friends are. He's able to effortlessly—well, not effortlessly. There's lots of effort, probably. He's able to blend with them, and they end up really liking Jamie, and I just think it's—it's a great point, that we're all performing.

Drew:  Yes.

Glen:  And we all code switch. 

Drew:  Yes. And if you ever have been a single, non-heterosexual man all of a sudden confronted with a group of men who you are "Oh, these men are all straight," you have to think about "What do I say to make this be as painless as possible?"

Glen:  And also—the assessment of "Is this a safe situation for me?"

Drew:  Mm-hmm.

Glen:  Because they're in an alley, drinking beers in the middle of the day, and I think he has some sort of line about drinking in the morning. 

Jamie:  Uh, hey. 

Hank:  Hello.

Jamie:  Is Peggy here?

Hank:  Uh, no she's not. Can I help you? I'm her husband.

Jamie:  I'm Jamie. I know Carolyn. We're friends—close friends. 

Hank:  Oh. Well, that Carolyn is great. She's quite a catch there, Jamie. What do you say to a beer?

Jamie:  I say, where have you been all morning?

Dale:  [laughs] Good one! 

Bill:  Yeah. I have to remember that one.

Drew:  But he can't drink a beer. He has to go stop Peggy. 

Glen:  Yeah. 

Drew:  You don't have time for a beer Jamie! But whatever.

Glen:  He does take the beer.

Drew:  He does take a beer, and then he puts it on the ground and drives away, and Bill's like "I like nice people."

Glen:  Yeah. The line he skates in that scene is perfect, and that's when I looked up who voiced him—because it's animated, but it was a perfectly acted scene in how he gingerly puts the beer down. He is both masculine and feminine at the same time. 

Drew:  Mm-hmm. Also, he voices the character slightly differently when he's Jamie than when it's Carolyn, and for someone again who's not—

Glen:  "It's"?! You can't say "it's" Carolyn.

Drew:  The character is Carolyn. When the situation is Jamie and then when the situation is Carolyn, they are voiced differently. And for someone that's not done a whole lot of acting, [he] does a really good job making a slight distinction between the two.

Glen:  Mm-hmm. But to be clear, Jamie doesn't tell Hank or his friends that he is Carolyn. He's like, "I know Carolyn."

Drew:  Right, and everyone is perfectly fine with this because why would anyone suspect anything else. They end up at the bar, which is called All the Queen's Men, which is not a funny enough name for a gay bar. I insist that there be a gay bar called Low-Hanging Fruit. 

Glen:  You've told me this.

Drew:  I want it on the record. I want people to know that that's a really good name for a gay bar.

Glen:  Well now you've just given away your million-dollar idea.

Drew:  I'm not going to start a bar. That's a lot of work. But someone who does want to start a bar should use the name Low-Hanging Fruit because it's a great one.

Glen:  And give Drew free drinks.

Drew:  Yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah, thank you. When Peggy walks in, she walks past a bunch of what are clearly drag queens, and another subtly good line is—

Peggy:  If she wasn't dead, I'd swear you were the real thing.

Drew:  —to Diana Ross. Diana Ross is still alive. She was alive in 2007. She's alive today [laughter]. Peggy for some reason thinks Diana Ross is dead. She is wrong [laughter]. It's another example of Peggy thinking she's saying the right thing, but revealing how ignorant she is. And Carolyn explains everything.

Carolyn:  Honey, we can't do the routine. I have something to tell you.

Peggy:  What is it?

Carolyn:  [sighs] Peggy, I'm a drag queen.

Peggy:  But I thought most drag queens were men. 

Carolyn:  I am a man. I'd take off my wig to show you, but it's too close to curtain.

Peggy:  So then I don't understand why you invited me to do the show with you in the first—oh, my god. You thought I was a man?

Carolyn:  We have the same size feet, and you were shopping at The Closet. It's a store for drag queens, Peggy.

Peggy:  I—I didn't know.

Carolyn:  Well, if it makes you feel any better, I thought you were the best I'd ever seen.

Peggy:  It doesn't.

Drew:  And it's right when Minh and Nancy and Luanne all show up to support Peggy, and Peggy's horrified that Carolyn thought she was a man in drag.

Nancy:  Hey, Sug! Here we are.

Minh:  What the hell kind of place is this?

Peggy:  [sobs]

Glen:  She goes to the bathroom to run and cry, and it's a gender-neutral bathroom.

Drew:  [laughs] Which makes her cry more. 

Peggy:  [cries]

[toilet flushes]

Drew:  Yeah. That joke was great. The next time we see them, Peggy is crying on the couch. Luanne, Nancy, and Minh are standing outside, trying to make the situation better.

Minh:  Come on Peggy Hill, open the door! We're here to comfort you.

Luanne:  Sorry everybody thinks you're a man, Aunt Peggy. You know how everybody is.

Peggy:  Go away.

Nancy:  Sug, you coached a woman's softball league! If that's not feminine, I don't know what is. 

Minh:  We're trying to cheer her up, not tick her off. You want to get punched in the face? That woman's got fists like frozen turkeys. 

Peggy:  I can still hear you, you know!

Drew:  And then Carolyn is calling. I like when they draw attention to how rigid and square Hank is where she's like, "Don't pick up the phone. It's just Carolyn," and he's like, "Well, that would be like lying." She's like, "Well then, tell her I'm not here," and he says, "That actually would be lying." He's very, very uncomfortable with the idea of—

Glen:  And Peggy comes out and tells Hank that Carolyn is a man.

Drew:  He doesn't seem to understand [laughs].

Glen:  And he doesn't put two and two together that Carolyn is Jamie/Jamie is Carolyn because he then goes and calls Carolyn.

Drew:  Mm-hmm. There's actually a really good joke [when] she's like, "Carolyn is a man who dresses like a woman." Hank's like, "Well that doesn't make sense, because why would a man dress—" That just doesn't make any sense to him. He completely disregards it and never figures it out.

Glen:  No, because he calls Carolyn and asks for Jamie.

Drew:  [laughs] Yeah. Mm-hmm. 

Glen:  And Carolyn's like, "Oh, yeah. Hold on." And like half a second later, it's Jamie on the phone.

Hank:  Hello. Carolyn? I was calling to get Jamie's number. Oh, he is? Well, that'd be great. Hello, Jamie.

Drew:  I like how funny that is only hearing Hank's end of it, too. You know she was just like "Jamie. This is Jamie. Hi." And they arrange to meet at a juice bar, which Arlen also apparently has, which is kind of [surprising 00:44:52].

Glen:  It's probably like a Jamba Juice.

Drew:  Yeah. It's probably like that. Hank orders an orange juice.

Glen:  A plain orange juice.

Drew:  A regular, normal orange juice.

Hank:  I'll have a normal orange juice please. Make it normal.

Juice Man:  Ok, and which nutrient booster?

Hank:  No, no. I won't be needing any more nutrients. I'm having' a steak later. 

Drew:  [laughter] And he has a very nice conversation with Jamie about how Peggy seems to have had a falling out with Carolyn. And again, it is nice that someone can completely not understand the situation on a fundamental level and still be a very sweet person. He wants to help Peggy. He wants her to be friends with this woman that has made her feel very good about herself in a way that he's probably never seen before. 

Glen:  It's also another depressing window in the lives of straight men, where they think just relating to their wives and to women in general is just an impossible task and that the way to fix a problem between two women is to have the men in their lives work it out behind the scenes.

Drew:  That's a good point because literally, it's Carolyn's number that's written by the phone. He could have just called Carolyn and talked to Carolyn, but he won't because Carolyn is a woman, and he doesn't know how to talk to a woman. But he will talk to Jamie.

Glen:  I think Hank is very much—he wants people to stay in their lanes. He's relieved when Peggy has a new female friend because she won't come to Hank with talking about scarves or talking about women problems because Hank feels ill equipped. But also, he just thinks people should do—

Drew:  The things that they're supposed to do. Yeah. Don't be weird and make someone uncomfortable.

Glen:  Yeah. And it's not malicious. He just doesn't know better—even though this is season 11 and Hank has actually performed many tasks outside of his lane. He has danced with dogs—maybe that hasn't happened yet.

Drew:  I think it has, and I think the other gay episode has also happened, so he's been to a gay rodeo and he's had to interact with gay people already.

Glen:  Yeah. He is a sweet man who does actually have a lot of empathy. It's just his initial reaction is still "Things will work out better if we try the traditional approach first," and then when that doesn't work out then maybe he'll grow and learn and all that. But still, his initial reaction is going to be "Here. I need to talk to this man."

Drew:  Yes. It's a very sweet conversation. He says, "I think Carolyn and my wife had a fight or something." 

Glen:  Falling out.

Drew:  Falling out [laughs]. Was not listening to her at all, and Jamie is like, "I think I can figure it out." So then, Carolyn shows up at the Hill house and was like—

Carolyn:  Peggy, stop right there. 

Peggy:  What do you want?

Carolyn:  I want you to drop that sad blanket and come with me. I need to show you something. 

Peggy:  Will I be humiliated in any way?

Carolyn:  I swear on my mother's unwavering support that you will not. 

Hank:  Peggy, I don't like to butt into your affairs, but you should go with her. Whatever you've been going through, well, I think Carolyn can help.

Peggy:  Fine, I will get my purse.

Carolyn:  And grab your trash bag full of clothes. Hurry!

Peggy:  Why?

Carolyn:  It's just more dramatic.

Drew:  And so even though Peggy doesn't want to, he takes her back to the gay bar where in the back room there's five or six drag queens sitting around and they've all brought their clothes, and he wants to do a clothing exchange and have Peggy participate. And it's a very sweet speech—the explanation is, because she's like, "You want me to hang out with a bunch of men," and he's like, "I want you to hang out with a bunch of men who want to look like women."

Carolyn:  Girls, this is Peggy Hill. She is the one responsible for that great tip about the lipstick and the one about the glasses.

Drag Queen 1:  Look at me, I'm a girl again. Thank you.

Peggy:  You're welcome? No, wait—

Drag Queen 2:  Is this what I think it is? A denim vest with appliques on it?! 

Drag Queen 1:  Oh, I want that. It's so Mandrell Sisters' Variety Hour.

Carolyn:  Mm-hmm. I had a feeling your stuff would go quickly here.

Peggy:  So this is why you brought me here—to show me that a bunch of men want my clothes?

Carolyn:  A bunch of men who want to look like women want your clothes.

Peggy:  Uh-huh. But, come on. Aren't you all more impressed by women who are fancier, daintier—girlier?

Drag Queen 1:  Honey, wispy women are a dime a dozen. 

[Drag queens agree]

Carolyn:  Peggy, drag queens model themselves after strong, substantial, fearless women—women who aren't afraid to wear purple gauchos and MC Hammer glasses, women who only need one name to describe themselves like Liza, Barbara, and Cher. You, my dear, are simply Peggy.

Peggy:  Peggy. That does make sense.

Carolyn:  Girl, you are fierce. Deal with it. 

Peggy:  I have got to have these platform sneakers. 

Drag Queen 4:  They are yours. 

Peggy:  Ok, who's hording the turtlenecks? I know you got them.

Glen:  I think back to when RuPaul's Drag Race was becoming popular and the debate got dusted up again whether drag was offensive to women, whether it was treating femininity like a costume or like a joke and the one camp saying, "Actually, we are celebrating women, and what we do is out of love for what women give to the world, and we're trying to honor that." And yeah, obviously there is comedy related to that, but I think it mostly comes—I'm obviously in the camp of I think drag celebrates women. But there are detractors and I think this episode is a nice sort of entry into that debate that drag is an expression of love for women.

Drew:  That's actually a very good point. I wonder if people are still—is that a debate that's still hanging around RuPaul's Drag Race? Because I feel like I haven't heard it in a while. Maybe, it's just that the success of the show has made people—I don't know.

Glen:  Yeah. I don't know. I think it's just sort of a thing, like, "Well, this is still here, so let's stop talking about it." I think, also, there are by now just as many straight people who watch Drag Race and are Drag Race devotees. And so—I don't know. Maybe it just got eaten by pop culture, and so it just is what it is.

Drew:  Right. That's the end of the episode. It's very sweet, and Peggy made friends with a bunch of drag queens.

Glen:  That we'll never see again.

Drew:  Never see again, but that's okay. Not everyone can be a recurring character. I want to point out that The Simpsons also, this past November, did a drag episode where Marge gets mistaken for being a drag queen because of her hair and also her voice—which I get it. But this is one instance where The Simpsons didn't do it; King of the Hill already did this episode and did it much sweeter. RuPaul and Raja both do guest voices on that episode and you see Smithers in drag, which is something I did not necessarily need to see. 

Glen:  No. 

Drew:  You see Homer in drag as well.

Glen:  He's done that.

Drew:  You see Homer in sexy RuPaul's Drag Race style drag. It's not a very good episode. King of the Hill is a special show because it approaches this kind of stuff with so much heart, and it is no wonder that the guy who co-created it with Mike Judge went on to do Parks and Recreation after it because it's a very similar idea of comedy with feelings. Do you have any more thoughts?

Glen:  I said what I said.

Drew:  Alright, we're done. Did you notice that there was one point in the history of Fox's animated lineup where there was three shows and each of the shows had a male character whose male best friend was in love with his wife? Bill was in love with Peggy on King of the Hill, Moe was in love with Marge on The Simpsons—

Glen:  Midge.

Drew:  Midge. Blanche. Madge. Quagmire was in love with what's-her-face on Family Guy—what's the mom on Family Guy? 

Glen:  Lois?

Drew:  Lois. Yeah. Quagmire wants to have sex with Lois. He doesn't love her, he just wants to have sex with her. It's very odd because it's not something you see on most sitcoms, and I don't know why three different animated shows would be like, "Yeah. That's a good dynamic."

Glen:  Everybody Loves Raymond. There was definitely an episode where Brad Garrett's character revealed that he had some sort of crush on Raymond's wife. 

Drew:  Patricia Heaton? 

Glen:  Yeah. 

Drew:  Ooh. I think you've seen more of that show than I have. Did they ever do a gay episode? Of course not.

Glen:  They may have. Why do you say, "Of course not"? It was actually a very good show. That is a hill I will die on. 

Drew:  Okay. I just had no idea how—

Glen:  You know what? I'm going to find a gay episode of Everybody Loves Raymond and make you talk about Everybody Loves Raymond.

Drew:  Okay. I am happy to do that. I just have very little familiarity with it. And I feel like CBS family-centered sitcoms—even at that time—I don't feel like would have been progressive enough to do that. But if they did, that's awesome.

Glen:  I bet there's an episode where the mom is worried that Brad Garrett is gay. 

Drew:  He played gay once on a TV show. I can't remember who the woman was, but he was a gay lawyer in a law firm and he has this heterosexual female coworker and they both—the guest star is Steven Weber or something, and both of them think that he's into them, and it turns out he's bisexual. And that's like the shocking—yeah, not a good episode.

Glen:  Brad Garrett's the actor's name, right?

Drew:  Yeah. The guy with the deep voice. Yeah. Glen, where can people find you on social media?

Glen:  @BrosQuartz on Instagram. That's B-R-O-S Quartz—like the rock—and then @IWriteWrongs on Twitter. That's "I" like the letter, "write" like the activity, and "wrongs" like bad things.

Drew:  Right. Wrong. Yes. Thank you. @DrewGMackie on Twitter—M-A-C-K-I-E. Please follow Gayest Episode Ever" on Twitter, @GayestEpisode. Look us up on Facebook; we are there as well. And listen to all our previous episodes at GayestEpisodeEver.com. This is a TableCakes podcast. TableCakes is a Los Angeles-based podcast network. I actually host two other shows on this network. There are three other shows aside from this one, and they're all really cool. Please go to TableCakes.com to learn about all the other shows that we will stuff your earholes with. You can also support shows like Gayest Episode Ever by going to patreon.com/TableCakes.

Glen:  Or just Venmo me.

Drew:  Or just Venmo—no. I don't think that's how that works. 

Glen:  I know, but I thought I'd just—

Drew:  Yeah. Episode over.

Glen:  Bye forever.

Drew:  Bye forever.

["Love Hangover" by Diana Ross plays]

Luanne: [hums "My Favorite Things"] 

[garbage disposal turns on]

Luanne:  [exclaims] 

Hank:  Luanne, I just spent two hours picking one of Peggy's shoes out of that disposal. I'm beginning to think it wasn't an accident.